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soccershades7
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Name: ~A~
Birthday: 12/8/1984
Gender: Female
Interests: writing, reading, sports in general, music, and cars, hunting (basically anything outdoors).
Expertise: don't really have one...well I guess I'm an expert at cards...then there's the "little" facts I know about baseball :-)
Occupation: Student
Industry: Other
Message: message me
AIM:  ChicCliq7
Member Since:
3/27/2004
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| Hello all
Today is MARDIS GRAS which means lent starts tomorrow...oh boy. I'm giving up chocolate. We'll see how well that turns out. It could get interesting. Maybe I should hide out in a hole for the next forty some odd days so I don't rip anyone's head off.
It's interesting how fast you can become close friends with someone that you are dating. I've never been this close to anyone that I've dated, but then again I've never been this close to even my closest friends. Casey and I have a strange bond that I can't even describe. Last month, I went and met his parents. His brother, Bryan, was there with his girlfriend, Rachel. I get along really well with Rachel and when we get together, Bryan and Casey are always left wondering why they allowed us to hang out with each other to begin with  . Well, while I was visiting Casey's parents, Rachel and I shared a room. We stayed up until 3:30 talking about anything and everything. Come to find out she and I have a lot more in common than we thought we did. We disclosed a few things about ourselves that few people (if any at all) know about us. Sunday, when I got home...I got into a huge fight with my father. I broke down and ended up praying to God this time, instead of yelling at him. Not thirty minutes later, I got a text from Casey telling me that I had a wonderful heart. Now, you can't tell me that somebody was not looking out for me. Casey and I ended up talking for an hour that night, even though he had to be at work at 5. I would have called Casey, but he was supposed to be in bed and asleep by then. I felt better after we talked, but I felt bad for keeping him awake. He told me it did not matter. He told me if I needed to talk to call him until he woke up....LOL. He's crazy.
Well, I found out last week that Rachel had a similar experience. So now I realized there is more than one reason why Rachel and I have become closer. We are there to help each other through difficult times when we feel like we can't turn to Bryan or Casey...who will undoubtedly find out sooner or later, but we know what each other is going through and so we can talk about it. It will be like counseling, if you want to look at it like that. It's just interesting how she and I can sit down and go from talking about school, to the past, and inevitably we end up with a discussion about Bryan and Casey. It's really quite new and different. I mean we give each other the same amount of listening and we take the same amount of time to talk about whatever. I don't feel like I'm taking up too much of the "space" to talk and I don't feel like she is over-taking her time to talk.
This last year has caused me to re-evaluate my friendships and I feel like I'm neglecting some of my friends, especially the ones I don't get to see very often. I feel like I'm failing in the friendship department and I hate it. So I'm trying to make a point to say "hi" to all my friends either every day or at least once a week, but we'll see how well that goes and how long that lasts.
I must go, though, I am trying to write an essay on "Adultery" by Andre Dubus...it's an interesting story. I really enjoy his writing because it reminds me of my writing. Now, I know I'm not that good, but he writes the way I do...by making people think and question their own morals.
Peace out and take care.
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| MERRY CHRISTMAS!!
I know it's not Christmas yet, but I wanted to swing by and say 'hi' to everyone. I can't believe how long it's been since I have been on here. I apologize for not being on lately. School and writing consumed my life this semester along with a guy named Casey. He has been my friend for the last 3-4 years and this year we decided to cross the "friendship-line." It's been SO MUCH FUN and I have enjoyed every minute of it. The only thing hampering the fun is when everyone starts asking if it's serious. We've only been dating for two months, how could it be serious already? I understand how some people can talk about marriage at two months, but I'm not one of those people. We haven't even said those "three words" which I still can't type out or talk about just because it's something I don't know about. It's something I have never experienced so I will take awhile to figure out what this feeling is. Yes, I have never had a relationship for more than two months and this is a completely different feeling than those other relationships. Is it that "special" feeling? Or am I just looking for something that isn't there? SO, when people start asking me if it's serious or start hinting at wedding bells, I simply say, "We're just having fun." Most of the time, I get a strange look from them, or a "secret" smile." Lol.
This summer was great, though. I got to go to France, went to Chicago and Boston and some other baseball stadiums, and I also went to Destin, FL. All the trips were great. I had so much fun because I got to see people I hadn't seen in a long time and got to visit places I had never been. I even got to go whale watching.
This semester, I spent a lot of time reading for classes. I also spent a lot of time working on my story that I started in March. I was actually supposed to be done with it right now so that I could edit it and send it off to try for a publication, BUT I didn't get done. I showed myself that I can't meet deadlines, so how am I supposed to be a writer? How am I supposed to finish a book I start if I can't get it finished by my own deadline? My best friend is supposed to be helping me with the ideas, but lately all I have been getting from her is..."have you written on it at all?" Sometimes it's hard for me to just sit down and write. This past semester, words seemed to have flowed from my fingers each time I sat down at the computer. However, it didn't take long for that well to dry up. It also didn't help that if I was on a roll, someone would always interrupt me. My parents or little brother would walk into my room (I moved back home to save money for school) or my phone would ring. I tried ignoring the phone when it rings, but my best friend gets mad if I don't answer when she calls. Well she doesn't exactly get mad, there's just times when she calls me and she needs to talk. However, I can't always help when I get the inspiration to write. I took a Mark Twain class this semester and I wish I could write as well as he could, even if some of his books weren't that great.
Well I am off to bed. I have a long week ahead of me. I hope all is well with everyone.
Peace out and take care.
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| Discovering New Things
In Unsuspecting Places
So, I was going to sit down here and tell all about my trip I took a couple weeks ago and the major league stadiums that I saw, but during my daily cleansing, I recalled something I'd read for a homework assignment. Before I go into this, let me provide you with a little bit of background.
I was born and raised a catholic, but as I grew older, church just seemed another part of my life. During the homily, I began to sit in the pew trying desperately to listen to what the man in the robes was saying; however, I usually found my eyes wandering to the people in the congregation. I watched people struggle with their fatigue trying desperately not to fall asleep; little boys and girls drawing on paper or playing with their toy cars or dolls; other people looking around the congregation; and finally, I watched as people stared at the priest. These people I watched closely because I was fascinated by them. I began to wonder if they were actually listening to him or if their mind was wandering just like mine. Were they following the man's words or were they thinking about what they would need to get at the store? Were they observing the man on the cross behind the robed figure or were they wondering how they were going to punish their kids for something they'd done earlier that day or possibly the say before?
Though, I still went about my routine as a Catholic. I still went to church, still took communion, still did what I had to do for lent, still went to midnight mass for Christmas, still went to Easter on Sunday, and still strained to understand the teaching going on around me.
Well this semester I have a lot of reading to do for a lot of my classes and one class I thought would be pretty interesting is Asian Philosophy. We will be studying the teachings of Hinduism, Buddhism, Confucianism, and Daoism. Now when I first told some of my fellow Christians about this, they were worried. They believed that I would convert to these teachings or I would do something drastic...I have no idea. However, I did discover something while reading for this class. We are currently reading something called The Bhagavad Gita. Now the Gita, for short, is a book (I've been told by my professor) that every Hindu knows front and back and has read since they were little. It is a book that obtains the basic principles and teaching of Hinduism to allow non-hinduists, such as myself, an abridged version of their philosophy. It is also found in the middle of a book called the Mahabharata. Well it was while reading this book, I came across a few passages which (for lack of a better term) "enlightened" me.
"You should never engage in action for the sake of reward, nor should you long for inaction." - This could be wrong, but my interrpretation of this was that, You should not be selfish, but to react and fight when you are needed and not just because you want a medal for fighting. Also, You should not just sit by and let things just happen if there is something you can do to stop them or to prolong the inevitable.
"Seek refuge in the attitude of detachment and you will amass the wealth of spiritual awareness." - This saying is quite nice because there are so many people out there who care about what other people think that it affects them and who they truly are. This quote basically tells you to not allow yourself to be affected by the good or the bad and only then will you be able to see the true "spirit of life." Or the true divinity of the Self (the Self is just your unchanging soul which, according to the Gita is divine). I like to be elated by the good, so I don't wholeheartedly agree with what this quote says, but I do believe that you should learn to detach yourself from such things as; worry, or anxiety.
Finally, the one I like the most is; "Through selfless service, you will always be fruitful and find the fullfillment of your desires.": this is the promise of the Creator." - To me it seems that through acts that are no way servicing you; will in the end help you fullfill your desires.
My interpretations may be quite different from another's, but hey isn't all literature open for interpretation, even the Bible is. So there it is. It probably doesn't shock anyone else, but it shocked me. It was strange to find ideas from one religion that could help me understand a better way to interact with God. I also understand that there are things in the Bible that say the exact same thing and I'm sure many people out there can pull these verses right out of thin air because they know the Bible front to back, but for me, the Bible at one time seemed like a huge monster of a book that was very mundane and hard to understand. Only recently have I begun to understand it, and with my newfound open-mindedness I have discovered that I don't have to look ONLY towards my religion to help me understand the ways to be a better person and Christian.
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| A Series of Unfortunate Events
I apologize because I said I was back and then didn't get a chance to see how everyone is doing. Then I hardly had the chance to get on here and read up on how everyone's life was going. So here's a little bit that's happened since my last entry.
Last year I attended three weddings and a funeral, yet I knew three other people who got married and I knew of two more people who died (however, I couldn't attend the funerals and I wasn't invited to the weddings). This year, my best friend's grandfather died. He was pretty much a grandfather to me as well. I found out while I was at work and quite a few people realized I wasn't in a good mood. I made myself go to the funeral so that I could be there to support my best friend and then I realized that she had plenty of support.
I felt like an outsider and then I felt bad because I began to think (who's my support?). I felt guilty for thinking that even though I was there for my friend. I was there for her to lean on (even though her husband was taking care of that). I began to realize that I wasn't sad and crying for the loss of someone I considered family, but because I felt very alone. I felt more alone during that time then I'd ever felt before in my life. I began to think a lot of things which made me even sadder. The drive back to school was rough and I barely made it to work that day. Few talked to me that night because I was in my own little world. After work, I relaxed while hanging with friends. Well, at least people I considered friends.
At the end of the semester I moved back with my parents in order to save money as I finish off my education (which should be another year and a half). I decided after my "lovely" school year I would take some time for myself. SO, one of my other best friends and I went to FRANCE. We started out in Nice and slowly made our way to Paris. It was a fascinating experience and I would love to go again, but I would prefer to go to IRELAND first before I go to FRANCE again. I've been wanting to go to IRELAND and AUSTRALIA for a long time. I hope to visit AUSTRALIA in five years or so.
After my trip to France, I arrived back in my home town to start off my busy summer. I continued my day job at the chemistry lab, and also worked as a night manager for the concessions at the baseball stadium. I worked my butt off all summer. I reconnected with an old friend, but I'm still trying to find it in my heart to forgive her. I'm just trying to figure out why she's suddenly coming into my life and trying to figure out what she really wants. I know it's not right to think like that, but that's how she used to be and I can't help thinking she hasn't changed.
I was also able to go to Little Rock, Ark and visit my cousins as well as MEMPHIS, TN to see the king. It was SO MUCH FUN going to GRACELAND and getting to see all that he achieved. The end of the summer is coming up and I've met some new people, but none that plan on staying for long.
My family and I are preparing for our END OF THE SUMMER trip and I will tell you ALL ABOUT it when we get back, but it's JAM PACKED full of stuff we're going to do and baseball stadiums we're going to see. I can't wait because it's going to be SO MUCH FUN!!
I hope all is well with everyone.
Peace out and take care.
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| HOWDY!
Well, I'm back in a new semester and a new degree. I had a nice (well it wasn't really nice because my father kept telling me things I already knew) LONG talk with my parents about the coming up semester. I have changed my major from Chemistry to English. When I switched majors, I'd planned on getting a teaching certificate for English; however, since I've been in my technical writing class I've thought about going into technical writing. Really, all I have to do is talk to my adviser about it and figure out how much longer I have here. I'm also moving back in with my parents after this semester. I will be either commuting back and forth or going to the university closer to their house. It's going to be interesting moving back into that house.
Just recently, I finished a story I've been working on the last two years and I'm hoping to get it published. However, there are some MAJOR revisions that need to be done to it and I just need to find the time to do them. Also, on that note, I have been working on another story most of this school year and just last week, my computer broke and I hadn't backed my story up...can you say I learned my lesson? My dad's going to try to get the information off of the drive, but my hopes are not up. I have a feeling that story is lost. I'm just glad that I have some of it on hard copy (only bits and pieces of it). So I'm disappointed in myself. I am glad that I managed to save some of my other stories that I'd been working on, especially the one I want to get published. I'm glad that I've sent it to some of my friends so HOPEFULLY I'll be ablet to get it from them so that I can start revising it.
The one thing I'm looking forward to is after school ends, I will be heading to FRANCE!! One of my best friends and I are going on a trip to France. We are flying into Paris and working our way up to Nice and flying out of there. I can't wait because it'll be my first time there and it has always been one of the places I've always wanted to visit (next to Australia of course). It's going to be a lot of fun and I can't wait.
I will also be going on another baseball excursion this summer with my family. This year, we will be visiting Boston, Chicago (both of them), Detroit, and Toronto. SO, it's going to be pretty exciting. I know it will be a lot of fun. I have a feeling some of my work friends will be jealous if they find out because most of them are Red Sox fans...the sad thing is that when my family and I go see them, they're playing the RANGERS  . There is no way I'm going to root against the Rangers, sorry.
I'm not even going to go into the Dallas Cowboys and their season or about Romo and Simpson....
I will say, however, GO PATS!!!! I REFUSE to root for the Giants tomorrow on Super Bowl Sunday. I hope everyone enjoys the game tomorrow. I have to get ready for work.
Have a great night.
Peace out and take care.
Me
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